Schlotzsky’s regular original. All sandwiches should be this good. So
why aren’t they? The answer involves the fact that mayonnaise is
Godfather’s buffet. Why eat at CiCi’s when one could eat these thick
pieces of pizza at the same price? The world may never know.
Monroe’s stuffed chile relleno. Pretty good for a Mexican restaurant
called Monroe’s. Salsa rating: 9. (Los Cuates being 0.)
Quizno’s Genoa Salami sub. It is the only edible alternative to Subway’s
pizza sub. All other subs pale in comparison. That is all.
Mario’s tortellini. Better than what I’m used to there. Vinegary salad
dressing on the salad though and I can’t stands vinegar! Vinegar forced
my people out of their land, you see. How did they think of vinegar?
“Hmm, this wine seems to have gone bad. Perhaps it can be used as an
Papa Felipe’s nacho-cheese filled chile relleno. Waitaminute, nacho
cheese? But even that can’t mess up a chile relleno…unless it were some
really nasty nacho cheese like that stuff you get in a huge can at Sam’s.
CiCi’s $3 worth of tiny pizza slices. Oh, they say they use quality
ingredients but compare them to Pizza Hut or somewhere where they really
pile on the toppings. But I can’t complain in general. How can you stay
mad at pizza?
Whataburger whataburger. It’s fried but it tastes good. McDonald’s is
fried and tastes gross. Something is afoot, Watson!
Marie Callender’s teriyaki sandwich. One of the most wretchedly detestable
items I’ve ever tried to consume. Along with the expected teriyaki chicken
there was cheese, bacon, mayonnaise (very evil), and teriyaki syrup rather
than sauce. Intolerably soggy and greasy. I did not complete the
consumption of it. The kahlua cream cheese pie made it all worthwhile
though. Pie can fix many gustatory mishaps.
Gardun~o’s. Cloudy day. los colores enchiladas with egg over hard. Eat
your heart out, Californians.