9/4/2002 lunch

Leftover spaghetti. Now, as you know, spaghetti is actually a sentient being whose only instinct is detect whether
you are wearing light-colored clothing and then spit or jump on you. Your only defense is to wear a red shirt
when you eat spaghetti which soothes the spaghetti and lulls it to sleep.
Researchers estimate the chance of wearing a red shirt while eating spaghetti to be 0.07%.
Today’s spaghetti did not disappoint as I am wearing a light beige shirt.
Barely had I opened the container and started to fork my first bite when it instantly
spat a blob of bright red sauce on me. This breed of spaghetti is particularly vicious. Its venom instantly
attaches itself to the shirt molecules and there is a risk of permanent staining.

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