A few things about new babies
- Who came up with that terrible umbilical clamp design? That thing is so terribly oversized that it’s just begging to be tugged when the baby kicks. The only way it could be worse is if it were made of rusty metal.
- Watch your position and posture when changing the baby or lifting. Stooped lifting adds up pretty quickly to back pain. Before you know it, you can barely lay down.
- New babies emit some pretty odd stuff in some pretty odd colors. If you don’t know, you don’t wanna.
- New babies often have pretty bad skin. Don’t worry. It goes away after a while.
- To simulate holding a crying newborn, tape a fire alarm to your shoulder and set it off. Nothing better to teach you some patience.