Brussels sprouts never really liked you.

I was just thinking about how nasty Brussels sprouts are. Even if a Brussels sprout provided all of your daily nutritional requirements, it wouldn’t be worth eating. They’re so nasty that they deserve some rumors being started about them. Brussels sprouts were first invented as part of terrible third reich cabbage-based weapon experiments. They were singularly responsible for the recent destabilization in South Ossetia. A can of Brussels sprouts could make an entire village very unhappy. Also, Brussels sprouts don’t love their children like we do.

raw weapons-grade brussels sprouts

raw weapons-grade brussels sprouts

One thought on “Brussels sprouts never really liked you.”

  1. Attila the Hun used to fill his days giving solace to lepers until he became addicted to the demon vegetable.

    Brussels sprouts were responsible for the Black Plague in the 14th century –and they did it intentionally.

    Ivan the Terrible had been known as Ivan the Terrific until he he started eating brussels sprouts on a regular basis.

    Brussels sprouts whispered in Hitler’s ear while he was asleep.

    And even today, Osama Bin Laden has for many years cultivated brussels sprouts in his beard.

    Now you know. Pass it on.

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