Nathan Alter

Blimpie’s Best. That’s pretty sorry for his best. Last time I went to
Blimpie’s, they gave me some sandwich with 5 lbs of meat. I think Blimpie
has an agenda against me. I knew immediately when they gave me that
horrid dijon mustard instead of that wonderful artificially dyed brilliant
yellow mustard I’m used to. Sometimes you get used to the cheap
stuff…take Jello brand cheesecake, for example.

Monroe’s Mexican pizza. 12.8 times better than Taco Bell’s. And no corny
chihuahua mascot to boot!

Sbarro’s huge deluxe pizza slice. They serve it by the acre. All the
vitamins a growing coder needs.

Papa Felipe’s relleno. Reasonably good food. But what’s with those tiny
tea glasses? The waitress, herself, admitted it would maker her job
easier to have bigger glasses. She was having to refill the glasses every
5 minutes. If YOU ever start a restaurant, think big when you talk about
glasses.

Schlotzsky’s regular original. All sandwiches should be this good. So
why aren’t they? The answer involves the fact that mayonnaise is
poisonous.

Godfather’s buffet. Why eat at CiCi’s when one could eat these thick
pieces of pizza at the same price? The world may never know.

Monroe’s stuffed chile relleno. Pretty good for a Mexican restaurant
called Monroe’s. Salsa rating: 9. (Los Cuates being 0.)

Quizno’s Genoa Salami sub. It is the only edible alternative to Subway’s
pizza sub. All other subs pale in comparison. That is all.

Mario’s tortellini. Better than what I’m used to there. Vinegary salad
dressing on the salad though and I can’t stands vinegar! Vinegar forced
my people out of their land, you see. How did they think of vinegar?
“Hmm, this wine seems to have gone bad. Perhaps it can be used as an
expectorant.”

Papa Felipe’s nacho-cheese filled chile relleno. Waitaminute, nacho
cheese? But even that can’t mess up a chile relleno…unless it were some
really nasty nacho cheese like that stuff you get in a huge can at Sam’s.